Never Been Able To Verbally Defend Myself, Growing up, I was always the quiet one in the room. I never spoke up when I was being bullied or, General, never-been-able-to-verbally-defend-myself, Timnesia
Growing up, I was always the quiet one in the room. I never spoke up when I was being bullied or when I felt like someone was treating me unfairly. It wasn't that I didn't want to defend myself, but I didn't know how to.
As I got older, the problem persisted. I would get into arguments with friends or colleagues, and I would always back down because I couldn't articulate my thoughts and feelings. It was frustrating because I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't find the right words to say it.
I started to feel like I was lesser than others, that I wasn't as intelligent or as capable as my peers because I couldn't verbalize my thoughts. I would envy those who could argue their points with ease, and I would feel embarrassed when I stumbled over my words.
It wasn't until I started therapy that I began to understand why I struggled with verbal self-defense. My therapist helped me realize that I had always been taught to suppress my emotions and not speak up for myself. I had learned to be passive in situations where I should have been assertive.
Working with my therapist, I began to practice speaking up for myself in small ways. I started by saying "no" when I didn't want to do something and expressing my feelings when I was upset. Over time, I became more comfortable with speaking my mind, and I started to feel more confident in my ability to defend myself verbally.
It's still a work in progress, and I still struggle at times, but I've come a long way from where I started. I've learned that it's okay to speak up for myself and that my thoughts and feelings are valid. It's not always easy, but it's important to defend yourself verbally and stand up for what you believe in.
If you're like me and have struggled with verbal self-defense, know that it's never too late to start working on it. Reach out to a therapist or a trusted friend for support, and start practicing speaking up for yourself in small ways. It's a journey, but it's one that's worth taking.